It's over. Your best friend's relationship just ended, and now you've gotta help her pick up the pieces of her broken heart. Here's 3 key do's + don'ts for how to help your BFF through a breakup.
Do let her vent
Denial. Anger. Confusion. Depression. Nope, you're not watching Beyoncé's Lemonade HBO special again. You're witnessing your bestie on an emotional rollercoaster after a breakup. So break out the tufted chaise + tissues and get ready to hear all the details. There's something therapeutic about being able to just let it all out. And regardless of if you loved or loathed her ex, your job is to be there for your girl; one of the easiest ways to do that is to simply lend an ear. Listening to her will show her how much you care about what she's going through.
Don't say "I told you so"
We know you may have saw this coming. We know your gut told you he wasn't good for her. We know. And while you may be totally right, don't let "I told you so" come out of your mouth; it'll only make her feel worse. Though she might've refused to hear you out initially, your words of warning are probably now on repeat in her head as she regrets not listening up the first time. Sure, now she's finding things out the hard way, but that's just part of growing up. Sometimes we have to live + learn those hard lessons for ourselves. So whatever you do, don't say, "I told you so." Because really, who wants to hear that while trying to wrap their head around heartbreak?
Do remind her of her worth.
No matter how the breakup went down, it's times like these where your friend is going to need you most. As much as you can, do your best to speak life into her, reminding her of her worth. Uplift her by letting her know what makes her valuable + special, because if you've been there, you know that break ups tend to make you feel less than, like there's something about you that doesn't measure up.
Don't recruit the rebound.
Whoever said that "the best way to get over an old guy is to get under a new one" is crazy. Healing takes time, and pushing your pal toward hooking up with another guy is a recipe for disaster. Now more than ever, she's incredibly vulnerable, is probably craving love, and wants to be wanted. By setting her up with someone new so soon, you may be hindering her from recovering + fully learning from her last relationship. You need to be her voice of reason in this time, not the one cheering her on into doing something she may later regret.
Do let her feel the feels.
Everyone grieves differently. And the length of time it may take for you to get over a relationship may not be the same for her. Whether that's 6 days or 6 months (or longer), your support is needed. When you've poured all of who you are into a relationship, it can be tough to find yourself again. So don't expect her to change overnight; you'll save yourself some frustration.
Don't let the pity party last forever.
As tempting as it may be for her to go the Jazmine Sullivan route + bust some car windows or break the world record for most tubs of ice cream eaten in a day, don't let your girl's pity party last forever. It's perfectly fine for you to be present with her as she tries to make sense of things, but try not to let her stay there. Instead, take her out, get adventurous or go on an all-girls vacay; lingering in loneliness or parlaying at the pity party isn't a good look. Break ups are a not-so-fun process, but let her know that on the good days + the bad, you're there for her through it all.
What lessons have you learned from trying to help your best friend bounce back from a tough breakup? How have your friends helped you when a relationship you were in ended? Share your experiences in the comments below!